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What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
08-12-2010, 07:40 AM
Post: #1
What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
This question is kind of open. But in light of recent discussions and some of the threads I've read on Vampire Truth, I felt this would be a good place to ask this question.

I remember being this slightly overweight son of a borderling schizophrenic mother who worked two jobs to keep a roof over our heads and pay child support for my four younger brothers. My school years were rough because of teachers who didn't understand my unique needs and peers I couldn't fit in with if I wanted to.

I stayed out of trouble because I didn't like the hassle of dealing with consequences and my mother and the father of my brothers were both people who used pretty extreme methods of parenting to punish us for offenses both real and imagined.

Reading and writing got me through the days. If it wasn't imagining myself on board a starship far from Earth, it was imagining myself as a vampire. Either the soulless blood suckers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the eternally frozen vampires of Anne Rice's universe.

To me, Vampirism was an escape. A sort of acceptable suicide that would seperate me from the bullies and the teachers and give me social immunity. Sex wasn't big on my mind in those days, but the idea of being able to kill the people who hurt me, (Or consequently turn them and therefore have the power to take vengence for eternity as their sire) and have no consequences was very appealing to me.

The ability to "sire" the handful of friends I had in those days and make them my brood would allow me to keep the people I truly cared about from ever dying. In my mind that was the way to keep my loved ones from always leaving me when I needed them the most, because wherever they were I would be bound to them.

Sound familiar?

Yeah. It probably sounds like the story of every emaciated high school kid who desperately wants to be a vampire. The ones who post here and on vampire truth and all over the Internet trying to find one to "turn" them.

So it's only fair of me to ask the same question of myself that I ask of those people. What would make me worthy of being a vampire? If a vampire were to want to turn me, but he wanted to interview me first what would I tell him? What would I do with my eternal life? Kill and maim? I could do that now.

Truth is, in high school, I believe I was worthy of the gift of eternal life. Because after all of the crap I put up with, I still struggled to be who I was. I wrote stories zealously because I knew I would be published one day. I eagerly learned things that fascinated me and I shared my knowledge.

These days I'm not so sure if I'd be worthy of the gift. I've wasted opportunities and I've allowed fear and uncertainty to rule my life. These are not traits of the survivial oriented vampire.

I've made a huge leap coming to Salem, Mass with barely the clothes on my back and a few conveniences like my laptop and cell phone. And maybe my struggle to get back on my feet and get back to being self sufficient would make up for the last year of my life that I wasted, execting someone to come and rescue me or have the solution. But the real challenge will be to see if I have learned from my past mistakes.

Even still, no. I don't believe I am worthy of the gift of living forever. Not now.

So I put this question to those of you who are seeking an "immortal" vampire to "turn" you. What makes you think you deserve to live forever?

And don't just cite your suffering. Everyone suffers. It's a human condition and even the quiet, peaceful nuclear family across the street from you has issues.

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08-12-2010, 07:51 AM
Post: #2
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
I think you will be a great writer, you have a good style!

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08-12-2010, 07:52 AM
Post: #3
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
I have already found my path of immortality. It wasn't because I am worthy however. It was because I am forgiven. This body and this life may change and transform, but my spirit will live on forever...not because of who I am but because of who first loved me.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Feel free to tell me what you need and I will tell you how to get by without it. ~Mom

For the believer, both the evidence of science and the failure of science to explain the paranormal is all the proof they need. For the sceptic, no evidence no matter how scientific will ever be proof enough. ~John Zaffis
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08-12-2010, 08:24 AM
Post: #4
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
And LK...that is a much more healthy way to do it!

NateSean...you really do have a gift with words. I plan on directing many people to this thread! =)

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” ~Philip K. Dick

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08-12-2010, 12:05 PM
Post: #5
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
Excellent post, Nate. I very much like your style of writing.

Maybe those seeking immortality via vampiric means need to value their own worth as humans first.

We can begrudge that which was done to us or not given to us, or we can toss it off as we don't have to "own" those things even though they will always be a part of us ... then we can find value within ourselves....yours seems to be writing. Smile

The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.

- Kahlil Gibran
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08-12-2010, 06:35 PM
Post: #6
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
Eons ago, when I was in 3rd to 5th-ish grade, I managed to find a book on "vampires" in the school library. The book discussed the origins, types, and some of the lore associated with vampires. (Wish I could remember the book because it was a fair primer on the topic.) Anyway, somewhere in the book it said something about people being better targets if they DID NOT believe in vampires-- that if you believed in them you were less likely to meet a vampire.

... that was about the point I became a skeptic on the subject. *wink*
Though, I did get all whimsical and imagine one bursting through the window of my bedroom... 'till I read the part about them having to count rocks or grain outside... and, well... there was a lot of gravel outside my window. Heh.

I'm skeptical now because I know a little more about people "rising from the dead" and I see more of the anthropological reasons the vampire "myth" (for lack of a better word) came into existence. Many of those reasons center around the medical knowledge that was prevalent at the time-- people did tend to "wake" from the dead... that's why they started doing "wakes" and also why people, afraid of being buried alive after their body slipped into a coma or some-such, would put bells or flags attached to strings that would be buried into a coffin and attached to arms/legs of the deceased... just in case they woke up. We know it wasn't horribly uncommon for persons to be buried alive in those days-- E.A. Poe even wrote about such an occurrence in his "Fall of the House of Usher" story. There are also reports of exhumed coffins with internal scratch marks... So, taking away that modern knowledge and putting myself in the perspective of someone in the 1800's or what-not, it wouldn't be difficult for me to assume something more supernatural.... especially considering some of the paranormal fads that have happened at different points in history.

So... a round-about way to answer your question would be to ask one to you in return: What makes you so certain vampires, if they do exist, are really are eternal beings with the ability to pass eternal life to someone else? ... which brings me to my other question: why would you want to live forever anyway?

(Just a note here, I do believe in eternal life after death anyway, so believing that a vampire could bring me eternal life is a moot point anyway.)
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08-13-2010, 02:16 AM (This post was last modified: 08-13-2010 02:20 AM by Isis.)
Post: #7
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
Wow great question! I was never into the wanting to be a vampire thing, but it will be interesting to see how other people who have respond to this question! I've already been promised eternal life through God!
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08-13-2010, 04:18 AM
Post: #8
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
Yes all people have problems..but nobody has the same problems so everyone is dealing them in their own kind of way.You found your way in creating "secure" reality in which you can escape after problems come out.
But you must remember that this is not a solution for your problems.It is just running away from something that you can not run away while you are in that home.
I am really sorry for you and your situation so I advice you to try to solve the problem by maybe moving away and finding your own peace,start all over.
I really don't believe in vampires like Buffy etc..This is all TV and has nothing to do with reality.
Even if you meet a vampire on internet I don't believe it will be the real vampire that can give you life but some people that again have been watching too muck tv.
And about the eternal life..Everybody has eternal life..Just it isn't the same life as for the others.Everybody has different pat in this world so do you.Try to find that in your life.
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08-13-2010, 04:24 AM
Post: #9
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
(08-12-2010 06:35 PM)jadewik Wrote:  if they do exist, are really are eternal beings with the ability to pass eternal life to someone else? ... which brings me to my other question: why would you want to live forever anyway?

I think people cling to the notion that they can someho wbreak the rules of nature. I mean, multicelled organisms die. Unless you're a nema toad and can live forever by splitting yourself in two, there's really no biologically sound reason for someone to live forever.

I believe in the possibility of someone living for a very long time. I'm not above the possibility that humanoid creatures of varying lifespans coexisted at one point or another.

That's why the vampires in my fiction aren't immortal, rather they live an extremely long lifespan (up to a thousand years). I won't go into that right now, but suffice it to say I stopped believing in the idea of immortality on this plane ages ago.

But the concept of the vampire in every century fascinates me. The idea of creatures stalking the night and draining people of blood, energy, or whatever the current culture was afraid of losing in the night has been around since as early as civilization began. Every culture has it's own version of the vampire mythology, or has a tale of a demon with vampire-like traits.

In Romania, for example, a vampire didn't have to be a person or an animal. It could be an inanimate object.

As for living forever, I wouldn't say no it. But I'm not trading my cow in for magic beans anytime soon either.

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08-13-2010, 05:18 PM
Post: #10
RE: What Makes You Think You're Worthy...open question.
Hmmmmm maybe I wouldn't be worthy of being a vampire... nema toad then?

Is that all I can wish for? A toad?

Smile

A very interesting thread here, btw

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