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Gift or Curse
Hope this message finds you all well.

I am new to this, so please bear with me as I am experiencing something that makes me question a lot of things.

Some background:

My grandfather on my father's side belonged to the Freemasons.  As this organization is shrouded in a lot of controversy and myth I have had a lot of difficulty being able to establish exactly what it all entailed and what beliefs and traditions my grandfather followed.  All I know is: 
1) that once someone is a member, they can go dormant, but essentially never leave (but this has consequences that befalls the sire-line of the dormant member)
2) my grandfather pledged his entire sire-line (but I don't know what it means) to the Masons
3) once my grandfather went dormant, he would not talk about the masons and forced his sons to swear never to join the masons
4) my forefathers & mothers are of Celtic origins (On my father's side)

From about the age of 4 I have had the gift of accurately predicting certain things in my own life.  For example, I told my mother that I did not want the Doctor to cut open my belly when I have my baby (this was at the age of 4).  I have also been unable to wear any wrist watch as the battery would go flat in a matter of days or just loose time. When I was very young, my very first wrist watch malfunctioned in a very strange way (the second hand began to increase speed, not spinning, but counting the seconds at approximately 5 times faster than normal speed).  As soon as the metal of any wristwatch touches my skin, it gradually starts to malfunction. At the age of 24 I had to have an emergency C-Section and again for my second born 6 years later.  I had to be resuscitated both times as my heart stopped.  After my daughter was born absolutely no electronic blood-pressure machine would read my vitals.  They all registered that I had no blood-pressure or gave error messages then the nurse would have to  take my blood pressure the traditional way.  This is still the case when I am in the room with a patient, that machine malfunctions until I leave the room.  After my daughter's birth cellphones also malfunctioned around me (you would hear the message tone go off, but there would be no messages when you checked).

Between my first born and my last born, I lost a baby. I had a checkup and all was fine.  Two weeks later I woke from a dream where I saw family members walking to an open grave and my mother's father carrying a small coffin. The next day I went to my Dr for a checkup and was told my baby had died.

During my entire life I always got a gut feeling which guided me to making decisions that otherwise would have been detrimental had I not followed my gut (and on the occasions where I did ignore this gut feeling it has come back to bite me in the backside).

Shortly after I got married, my father in law passed away and my mother in law had to move as there was too much debt for her to keep the house.  We helped her move to the new place and while sitting for a bit of a rest, I saw my father in law out of the corner of my eye walking through the living room towards us, but when I turned to face him he wasn't there.

In 2014 I became ill and although I did not know anything about the condition that had befallen me, I had a gut feeling what it was and informed the Docter to test for it (which he was reluctant to do as there was no history of this condition in my family).  It turned out I was correct, but the condition was so advanced that the treatment plan had to be very aggressive which also carried the risk of killing me. So, here I was, terminal without medication and at risk that the medication will kill me.

Long story short.  I was given 4 days to live.  I could feel myself dying.  I felt the presence of death, but I spiritually refused to go when I felt the tug (as my children were with me I did not want to cross with them there).  I slowly recovered (which my Dr said was a merical), but still at times reflect on this as I saw the scans and test results, I know I was supposed to go.  

Ever since then I started getting this feeling of dread.  The same feeling that death is near and shortly after this feeling starts I would dream of members of my family that have passed.  Not long after these dreams I would get news of another family member who did pass away and not all of them from illness.

My most recent experience is:
  • About 2 months ago this feeling of dread started again.  
  • I constantly thought of my father. 
  • Last week I started dreaming about a baby boy and when I wake up, I actually missed this little boy and would feel a sense of longing.
  • This morning at 03:00 my uncle passed away (my Dad's brother)
So here is the point of this very long explanation:

Does anybody know if the Freemasons bestow gifts on the sire-line of their members or would this ability to feel death approaching be coming from my Celtic bloodline?

Do I have a gift or a curse?

Can I develop my ability to be able to communicate with the Spirit World?

I have so many questions and have never been able to find the answers.  My family and basically everyone I have taken into my confidence regarding this matter have always told me to turn to God and that God has a plan, but after my own near death experience and another event that I won't bore you by going into detail, I do not believe in a Christian God as they do.  I do believe there is good and there is evil, but not that there is just one entity pointing a finger and controlling my destiny or making a burning bush talk.  I have not experienced the feeling of a blessing in a prayer that is answered as I did not pray for survival, I fought for it (pardon me if I offend anybody reading this). 

Hope to hear from you guys soon (either here or on a private message) and thank you for taking the time to read this.
(03-14-2018, 03:19 AM)Mistyque Wrote: Does anybody know if the Freemasons bestow gifts on the sire-line of their members or would this ability to feel death approaching be coming from my Celtic bloodline?

The Masons are a fraternal order and focus on charitable giving as a way to increase spiritual rewards in the afterlife.  Although it is a requirement that a person profess a belief in a god and scripture before being accepted as a Mason, they do not (officially) make any other spiritual claims or demands.

Subject: I have a black cat.
Believer: Black cats are bad luck.
Non-believer: It's just a cat.
Crackpot: Black cats are part of the New World Order government conspiracy.
Skeptic: I can test if black cats are more or less lucky than another cat.
Cynic: You only have a black cat to gain power and prestige.

[-] The following 1 user says Thank You to Darkforeboding for this post:
  • Mistyque
Does anybody know if the Freemasons bestow gifts on the sire-line of their members or would this ability to feel death approaching be coming from my Celtic bloodline?
To me is 0 but yes there is such ability

Do I have a gift or a curse?
Depends what do you think? If is hard to face it = curse.
If you know what to do and get prepared early = gift

Can I develop my ability to be able to communicate with the Spirit World?
I'm Indigo child.
I guide and I teach what I know.

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