Howdy Guest!  / Create an account
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Need help identifying a being. (Wall of Text)
#1
I wasn't quite sure where to put this post, but this seems the most appropriate place.

This is a bit of a long story, and I'm not entirely certain where to start with it. I suppose to begin with, there has been an entity following and "interacting" with me since I was 9. (I am 19.) The first time I encountered her was in a dream. In the dream I was running from her in the night for whatever reason. Eventually she cornered me, and I realized I couldn't fight her. She began to cast some kind of spell in another language, and I knelt down, and then experienced the most fantastic sensation that I can possibly describe. For future reference, let us call this the "sting."

The sting is extremely pleasurable, and usually experienced in my solar plexus or Sacral (chakra) areas, although there is some variability going up to my heart and to my root.
After I experience it I feel rejuvenated and healed. Oftentimes this has come in handy especially in times of illness. (I am ill relatively often.)

After this dream, I began to experience it in my waking life and in other dreams. Whenever she appeared, she was an extremely beautiful girl, with varying appearance. I feel as though through these experiences she was communicating to me on a much deeper level than what is possible between humans.

She is also usually a combination of being extraordinarily gorgeous and moderately terrifying in a "ferocious" or "predatory" type of manner.

One time while I was awake and sober, I saw a shadow swimming around in some tea that I prepared. I decided to drink it anyways, and afterwards I saw a shadow fly into my room from the far end of the hallway. I followed it in, and then experienced the sting with such force that I collapsed onto the floor, "crippled" from the amazing sensation.

After several years of periodically experiencing similar things, I got into drugs. My favorite of which being hallucinogens.

I had two trips (once just one tab, the next just two tabs of regular acid.) before the most amazing and horrifying experience of my life. What I will tell you next is the "meat" of what I have to say. Post-hence of this occurring, I concluded these research chemicals were worth about 60 hits of acid.


I took three hits of whatever it was sometime in early afternoon. I was still quite lucid during the first portion of the climb up. I saw symbols and sigils form within my environment and upon myself.

I got in my friends car, and was driving down the street, which appeared to be melting and stretching dramatically. We arrived at his first job, with the car parked outside of a football stadium.
Then I blasted off.

I lost who I was entirely, I melted into absolute bliss. I had no awareness of anything around me, at least not consciously.

I began to experience amazing things. Like I had just met "god" and simultaneously realized that I was god. I watched fantastic alien artifacts spawn into existence before me, disappear, and be replaced by even better artifacts and technology. Everything appeared to be radiating golden light.

My body was racked with pleasure of many sorts, physically and otherwise.
I had visions of creating the universe, and how it made sense that only a god as vile up as me could invent such a horror, yet still enjoy it.

Apparently during those experiences, my friend was trying to get my attention, and I was repeating the names of people/things that were significant in my life. He said he was yelling at me and even shaking me to get my attention but I didn't hardly know he was even there.


I also had points where I said things and they teleported right next to me. I remember ripping off my friends back mirror, thinking about power and what it meant. What I defined as power.

I was overwhelmed with pleasure and ecstasy in every form, however after a good bit I became numb to it. I wanted more, and I asked for more but didn't receive it. Something did tell me I would after a "while longer" however. To which I was overjoyed. And then I began to fall into an advanced depression. (I assume this while longer is either in the afterlife, or some circumstance I have yet to see coming.)

Then the "negative" portion began. It would have been a bad trip, but I was so far gone, I didn't care about pain. I was numb yet some piece of me still found enjoyment in it.

First I began to ask myself: why do anything at all? Nothing matters. I have been everywhere and seen everything good in the world. (Or as far as I can tell, what any man can experience.) I lied down in the back of the vehicle. Then I bounced out of the depression and Into something else.

It felt like fingers were closing around my literal heart, crushing it. I didn't care. I watched the hairs on my body grow, and become multicolored. Then there was a black "creep" that grew onto my arms and legs. It felt like it was embedding into me. My eyes along with the rest of my body soon enough. I watched myself transform into a literal demon, and then had an OBE where I saw myself explode from the car as a full fledged demon on a populated highway.


Even though I was in tremendous pain of many sorts, the truest part of myself was still having fun. I then was visited by beings that resembled people I had met in my life, except for one. They all tortured me ruthlessly in as many manners as a human can imagine. They showed me the most horrible experiences in the first person that humanity has inflicted upon itself. I'll spare you the disturbing details.

Then I was handed a key. And once I was given that key, I heard thousands of entities attempting to escape from me. They said things like: oh s*** he has it! Run! I heard engines starting, helicopters roaring, and sirens screaming. It was like a cosmic warning system for gods was sounding, proclaiming that a convict had escaped from divinities most guarded prison.

And after a good while, it just... stopped. I saw a beautiful entity spawn outside of the car. She transformed the entire world around her, including myself. When she appeared, a wave of sigils emanated from her position. She radiated golden light, and sigils formed in a colossal wave due to her presence. She purged my pain, and allowed me to perceive the most beautiful things I could imagine. Then I fell unconscious.

When I awoke, I wondered how I hadn't died, and if I had died and was simply crammed back into my flesh.

She however, was unfathomably gorgeous. In more ways than I could understand, even in my "heightened" state. I don't imagine I could ever forget her. The sun shown anew as well, and I saw "rainbow" colors in extraordinary vividness.

Golden haired, tanned smooth skin. I don't recall exactly what she was wearing, or her specific eye color, but I thought it was green.

This entity is the one I formerly mentioned that has stung me in the past. It's been a little over a year since that experience, but even still I can't stop thinking about it. I should have died that night, or at least become a vegetable, but here I am.

Afterwards, we discovered burn marks on the ceiling of my friends car, which we have no clue how they got there. We didn't smoke cigarettes at the time, there were no lighters and no ash trays. I personally suspect that I could have began to legitimately transform into something else, or my temperature skyrocketed to the point that I actually did burn it simply by touching it. But that doesn't explain how I got out of it unscathed.

When I woke up I was completely sober, but far beyond any level of natural shock. I could barely speak to my friend for the rest of the night and the next day.

Just a few weeks to a month ago, this being spoke to me in a dream for the first time, in english. For what she said to make any sense I need to give some context. I've always been enamored with the occult, and have studied everything from it, to religion, to sciences (theoretical and otherwise.) and have been delving deeper into it to try and find a sense of purpose in my existence. That and to find out what and who she is. I began actually delving into the occult around the time I was 14.

She recently talked with me about the progress I have been making "Towards her dimension." Now while I'm not certain of what that means, but I have a few basic ideas. The first of which will again need more context. I have dabbled in magic/sorcery, ki, psionics, etc. for a good bit. Both positive and negative or if you prefer, light and dark. Me and my friends have been working on developing our own personal afterlife. We call this realm "Sedna." It's rather elaborate as we've been doing this since my 3 hit experience. (A little over a year.) But that's a topic for another post.

My next idea is simply that I'm getting closer to whatever dimension she actually inhabits on a spiritual/psychic level. I don't know what this entirely entails, but I imagine it's rather positive, considering that it's very possible she has kept me alive this entire time. (Again, I feel as though I should have died that night, let alone become a vegetable.)

If I am to be honest for the most possible accuracy from members of this forum for her identification, she has approached me in 'sexual' manners, usually in dreams but sometimes while awake. Usually the sting has that sort of connotation along with it as well. However, there is much more than that going on as I have explained a good bit.

The first story of an unusual approach, was I woke up, and suddenly felt something wrap its arms around me. At first I was a bit jarred by it, then I sunk into comfort for what lasted about 30 seconds. The next is I woke up again, and she crawled on top of me and grabbed me a bit. Again, I was jarred. However this encounter was slightly less pleasant. Her grip was a bit strong and was actually somewhat painful, I would fight it and periodically give in when she was being more gentle. I was stung during both of these experiences, but less so on the second.

Another event that occurred, I was meditating in my room. I had a large Kali tapestry, and I saw it wave one of its arms and then I was sent on a chaotic adventure. It felt like my brain was some kind of tv, whose channels were being changed. I had plenty of bizarre dreams that were very deja-vu filled, but the most outstanding of them was when a metal doll grew to human size (A bit terrifying at first) and was relatively attractive. This "doll" (at this point it didn't look like a doll, but more like a tall pretty girl made out of metal.) engaged in unusual copulatory activities with me, which I will not elucidate further.

I feel very confused as to her nature and what it is she wants, let alone with me. I've studied up on demons, angels, succubi, and plenty of other entities but she hardly seems to match any of them. From what I saw during the 3 hit experience, I would assume she is some kind of deity. What she sees in me, I do not know. I've had several theories about it, but most of them would only appear to be narcissistic nonsense.

I've given her names, but she has never given me one to call her. So for now I refer to her as "Elucia."

If anyone has any information about anything like this, please let me know. Also I would like suggestions as to how to get closer to her. I've done plenty of things, but I'd like something a bit more effective. I've meditated/prayed, used sigils, etc.
Reply
#2
Oh goodness, this is a intricate situation. Why do you want to get closer to it?
IMO, you go looking for entities such as what you are describing and you may get more than what you bargined for.
If this entity is truely trying to contact you.....You need to ask yourself and answer in an objective fashion....WHY?
My initial feeling is that this entity has been slowly intigrating itself into your life and focus like that from an entity is usually not a good thing.
Prolonged exposure to the dead or negitive entities can have a profound effect on you emotinally, physically and emotionally.
You have been warned.....
Reply
#3
It doesn't really come across as a negative entity or a ghost. If anything, it's one of the few reasons I'm still alive. I do understand the suspicion, and I've asked myself (and attempted to ask it) many times why it has an interest in me. I've never gotten a real answer. Now while there is no way for me to verify anything, I do see her as some kind of deity.

There's a good bit here to question and to be wary of. However I can't disregard its apparent attempts to improve me as a being. I'm (as you can probably tell) not a very fearful person in the first place. Ultimately, my current decision will just to be to wait it out and see what happens. Until something occurs that trips my radar per se, I don't see too huge an issue.
Reply
#4
If i were you I would do some focused meditation to get in contact with your guides. Get to know them, they can help you on your journey.
Reply
#5
(11-01-2017, 10:58 PM)Acea Wrote: If i were you I would do some focused meditation to get in contact with your guides.

If the OP knows them, that is. From the way I see it, the OP doesn't seem to know how to find them, let alone contact them. He/she doesn't even seem to know how to shield himself/herself properly Big Grin
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)






About Talk Paranormal Forum

...

              Quick Links

              User Links

             ...

  • ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • ...