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Saved by the Bell (literally)
04-21-2014, 07:19 PM
Post: #1
Saved by the Bell (literally)
[/font] When I was a senior in high school, I got very sick. I fell into a deep and profoundly disturbing psychological depression. I was extremely disturbed and my psychosis included hallucinations, delusions and paranoia, but the worst was the hopeless sadness I experienced. During this time, I was smoking a lot and became an alcoholic. I was drunk nearly every day and if I wasn't wasted, I was high. I gave up on myself and my life and basically prayed I would die.
Now it was not just the suicidal ideation that caused by NDE, but rather this time the alcohol. My drinking was no longer limited to parties; now I was drinking alone. I was dog-sitting for my mother's friend and started drinking (I know, it was a terrible thing to do). But the odd thing was, I had gotten so used to alcohol that I couldn't even tell the difference between tequila and vodka or whisky anymore, they all just kind of merged with my taste buds. And I was used to drinking a LOT- I mean, for a skinny 18-year-old girl, I could really chug it down. And I never threw up until this night, which is another phenomena I'm not sure about.
On this particular night, I had school in the morning so I didn't plan to get drunk, only tipsy to block some of the pain. All I remember is literally tipping the gin into my mouth, just a little bit. Then everything went completely black. I was used to having blurred memories and black-out, but this was completely different. I literally just put a drop in my mouth and then in a split-second I heard the alarm going off and it was time to wake up.
When I woke up, I was completely discombobulated and had no idea anything that happened during the night. I went to school as usual and was able to get back in time to fix up the house before my mother found out. But here is what makes my story strange:
Obviously when I used to drink, I would never end up in a normal location- usually I'd be on the ground, esp. during a black-out. But this morning I woke up in the bed, like I was supposed to. AND I was in my pajamas, not even inside out or anything. I know it sounds silly, like duh you did it yourself, but honestly when I blacked out I would pass out in some odd place with my clothes off or in the clothes I wore that night. And there was no way I would have been sober enough to put on those clothes right side in and normal. But the creepiest part was the alarm. I had stayed there for a couple days and I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to turn on that woman's alarm to wake up for school. So instead I used my cell phone. Well, during the black out, I must have thrown the phone because it was smashed to pieces and obviously the alarm would not have worked. Somehow, ONLY on that morning, that woman's alarm clock turned on magically and woke me up at 6 am- the exact time I needed to get to school on time. It was literally like someone came and tucked me in, making sure I was ok.
When I walked downstairs, I found my vomit on the carpet. But I went to school and didn't get caught. I know most of you are probably thinking I should have gotten caught because I had messed up, but honestly I had already been in deep trouble for a while and I think it was just the universe letting me have a break. If I had gotten caught, my life would have been a nightmare- not that it wasn't already. I was the only one with a key at that time so no one could have come in and helped me in my drunken mess that I was.
More important than getting caught, I think I may have died had that alarm not woken me up. If I hadn't woken up at that moment, perhaps I would have choked on my vomit or just simply never woken up. I honestly think it may have been my grandfather helping me. It was just a feeling that I had. That alarm didn't work the morning before or the morning after, only on that particular morning. I'm not sure you can totally classify this as an NDE, but this is the closest it's ever gotten for me. Eventually, I got out of my depression and went on to be very successful in college and graduate school. It was as if my grandfather (or whoever) knew that I could be successful and I didn't have to live the kind of life I was living back then.
I didn't know immediately that my life had been protected, but looking back now I can see that their was a guardian angel helping me along!
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04-22-2014, 09:00 AM
Post: #2
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
Hello & welcome.You are so young please get help.Talk to your Doctor or better yet your parents.You may think all is funny & cool,but you are treading on thin ice with your life.I know from my own experiences & that of others.Please this is very serious get help,before it's to late.Just my thoughts keep the faith.
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04-22-2014, 09:58 AM (This post was last modified: 04-22-2014 09:59 AM by lael.)
Post: #3
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
(04-22-2014 09:00 AM)MrsMultiTasker Wrote:  Hello & welcome.You are so young please get help.Talk to your Doctor or better yet your parents.You may think all is funny & cool,but you are treading on thin ice with your life.I know from my own experiences & that of others.Please this is very serious get help,before it's to late.Just my thoughts keep the faith.

I think you must of missed the ending of her story...

Eventually, I got out of my depression and went on to be very successful in college and graduate school. It was as if my grandfather (or whoever) knew that I could be successful and I didn't have to live the kind of life I was living back then. I didn't know immediately that my life had been protected, but looking back now I can see that their was a guardian angel helping me along!
(04-21-2014 07:19 PM)MoonlitStar Wrote:  [/font] When I was a senior in high school, I got very sick. I fell into a deep and profoundly disturbing psychological depression. I was extremely disturbed and my psychosis included hallucinations, delusions and paranoia, but the worst was the hopeless sadness I experienced. During this time, I was smoking a lot and became an alcoholic. I was drunk nearly every day and if I wasn't wasted, I was high. I gave up on myself and my life and basically prayed I would die.
Now it was not just the suicidal ideation that caused by NDE, but rather this time the alcohol. My drinking was no longer limited to parties; now I was drinking alone. I was dog-sitting for my mother's friend and started drinking (I know, it was a terrible thing to do). But the odd thing was, I had gotten so used to alcohol that I couldn't even tell the difference between tequila and vodka or whisky anymore, they all just kind of merged with my taste buds. And I was used to drinking a LOT- I mean, for a skinny 18-year-old girl, I could really chug it down. And I never threw up until this night, which is another phenomena I'm not sure about.
On this particular night, I had school in the morning so I didn't plan to get drunk, only tipsy to block some of the pain. All I remember is literally tipping the gin into my mouth, just a little bit. Then everything went completely black. I was used to having blurred memories and black-out, but this was completely different. I literally just put a drop in my mouth and then in a split-second I heard the alarm going off and it was time to wake up.
When I woke up, I was completely discombobulated and had no idea anything that happened during the night. I went to school as usual and was able to get back in time to fix up the house before my mother found out. But here is what makes my story strange:
Obviously when I used to drink, I would never end up in a normal location- usually I'd be on the ground, esp. during a black-out. But this morning I woke up in the bed, like I was supposed to. AND I was in my pajamas, not even inside out or anything. I know it sounds silly, like duh you did it yourself, but honestly when I blacked out I would pass out in some odd place with my clothes off or in the clothes I wore that night. And there was no way I would have been sober enough to put on those clothes right side in and normal. But the creepiest part was the alarm. I had stayed there for a couple days and I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to turn on that woman's alarm to wake up for school. So instead I used my cell phone. Well, during the black out, I must have thrown the phone because it was smashed to pieces and obviously the alarm would not have worked. Somehow, ONLY on that morning, that woman's alarm clock turned on magically and woke me up at 6 am- the exact time I needed to get to school on time. It was literally like someone came and tucked me in, making sure I was ok.
When I walked downstairs, I found my vomit on the carpet. But I went to school and didn't get caught. I know most of you are probably thinking I should have gotten caught because I had messed up, but honestly I had already been in deep trouble for a while and I think it was just the universe letting me have a break. If I had gotten caught, my life would have been a nightmare- not that it wasn't already. I was the only one with a key at that time so no one could have come in and helped me in my drunken mess that I was.
More important than getting caught, I think I may have died had that alarm not woken me up. If I hadn't woken up at that moment, perhaps I would have choked on my vomit or just simply never woken up. I honestly think it may have been my grandfather helping me. It was just a feeling that I had. That alarm didn't work the morning before or the morning after, only on that particular morning. I'm not sure you can totally classify this as an NDE, but this is the closest it's ever gotten for me. Eventually, I got out of my depression and went on to be very successful in college and graduate school. It was as if my grandfather (or whoever) knew that I could be successful and I didn't have to live the kind of life I was living back then.
I didn't know immediately that my life had been protected, but looking back now I can see that their was a guardian angel helping me along!
How long after this event did you start to change, get out of depression and go off to college?
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04-22-2014, 03:13 PM
Post: #4
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
Whoever it was looking after you did a good job and so have you, to have been able to pull through the mire it couldn't have been easy for you but I'm sure it's given you a lot of inner strength and a different perspective on many things?

You walk in the long grass and wonder why you can not see!!
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04-22-2014, 09:15 PM
Post: #5
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
Yes, multitasker, read the ending Smile I did get the proper help I needed, but I thank you for caring!
and Pix, I think it did give me a much broader view of life. Before that, I wasn't nearly as open-minded as I am now. In fact, I am studying to become a counselor so that I can help others through their journey or life. If it wasn't for having that frightening experience myself, I would have no desire or interest in becoming a counselor.
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04-23-2014, 11:52 AM
Post: #6
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
(04-22-2014 09:15 PM)MoonlitStar Wrote:  Yes, multitasker, read the ending Smile I did get the proper help I needed, but I thank you for caring!
and Pix, I think it did give me a much broader view of life. Before that, I wasn't nearly as open-minded as I am now. In fact, I am studying to become a counselor so that I can help others through their journey or life. If it wasn't for having that frightening experience myself, I would have no desire or interest in becoming a counselor.

Congratulations you.....from the bad came the good.Wink

You walk in the long grass and wonder why you can not see!!
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04-23-2014, 08:51 PM
Post: #7
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
Thank you so much! Smile
Sorry, Lael I just noticed your question- basically I recovered once I left for college about 6 months later, thankfully. I'm not even sure how I made it out alive, considering how suicidal I was for so long. I was severely sick for eight months, depressed for ten. It was unbelievably bad. But I learned a lot at least
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04-24-2014, 08:17 AM
Post: #8
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
I'm sorry certain things were acting up yesterday.I was getting half of this & half of that there.I'm so happy for you,there are angels amoungest us & there when we need them.You should be a mentor.Keep the faith.
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06-11-2014, 05:45 PM
Post: #9
RE: Saved by the Bell (literally)
I know that people can change sad enough though it takes some thing really bad to make them realize what they are doing and that they are going to lose every thing if they dont turn themselves around. You are one of the lucky ones a serious thing did not happen but some thing big enough to make you wake up and turn your life around before it was to late. Kudos to you dear I am proud of you and happy for you. Some thing or some one was watching you and seen that you was going to far in the wrong direction.

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